The Sandwich Generation: Balancing Life, Work, Motherhood & Caregiving

Nearly half of adults in their 40’s thru 60’s have a parent aged 65 or older and are also either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child. This population faces quite special, unprecedented challenges, as well as opportunities for them to enrich their lives, those of their loved ones, and their community. Join us for a dynamic, interactive panel discussion exploring how they can achieve these goals with greater happiness, balance and peace of mind.

Panelists

Dr. Stephanie Paulmeno, DNP, MS, RN, NHA, CPH, CCM, CDP
Mike LaMagna, Esq., JD, MPA, NHA, Elder Care Attorney
Cerissa Orbegoso, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
Kathleen Benevento, Darien resident and mother Executive Director, Navigator Program
Moderator: Terry Henry, MBA, Waveny LifeCare Network, CSMAO

Introductory Questions

1. Define “care” of the older adult;
2. What are typical signs/indicators you need help caregiving for both generations?
3. Does asking for help mean that you’re “giving up” or not a “capable” person?

Key challenges faced by the sandwich generation

4. Financial Costs. Figuring out how to afford their loved one’s care while also supporting their children’s college, planning for retirement, caring for aging parents, work tradeoffs?
5. Tone and boundaries of parent relationship – how does this impact caregiving?
6. Impact on health, self-esteem, well-being and emotional challenges? What kinds of feelings are common, besides overall stress? What is the mix of complex emotions one experiences (e.g., role reversal, anticipatory grief, loss of independence, guilt, anger, and resentment)?
7. Medical implications of sandwich caregiving (define typical multisystemic issues and discuss dementia and how that fits into the mix)
8. Logistical challenges. What are everyday life imbalances (e.g., work, kid’s school, caregiving or coordinating healthcare services, ensuring the safety of their elderly parents, along with finding time for themselves)?
9. Time management crunches. Is it possible to juggle full-time careers with caregiving responsibilities, without feeling overwhelmed with difficulty prioritizing tasks?
10. Legal and documentation considerations of sandwich caregiving

Coping strategies and solutions and resources

• Best Self Care rituals? Emotional, spiritual and physical
• Ask for help: support from whom? What do you need most and when? i.e., host family meeting to delegate and divide responsibilities? Reach out to support and peer groups, community resources, and online forums for guidance;
• Improve open, open communication: with both parents and children to set realistic expectations and boundaries. Discuss financial matters, caregiving responsibilities, and ensure everyone’s needs and concerns are heard. Divide and conquer?
• Top legal and financial strategies

Myths vs. Reality

• Myth: “If I seek help, it feels like I am giving up hope.”
• Myth: ” I think my parents, doctor, family, will tell me when it’s time to ask for help.”
• Myth: “l have heard that I will no longer have a life if I commit to helping my parents”